🔗 Share this article Evening Comics Lampoon Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Immigration Program Late-night's leading comedians spent their airtime criticizing ex-President Donald Trump's just unveiled visa initiative, dubbed the "golden visa," portraying it as a blatant cash-for-residency arrangement for the affluent. The Late Show's Witty Take Starting his broadcast, Stephen Colbert delivered a sardonic Christmas jingle targeting the president. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, and then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he intoned. "The President ... spoils everything he touches." The focus was the new initiative which permits overseas individuals to buy U.S. residence for the price of a million dollars, or "top-tier" option for $5 million. A government portal promises processing "faster than ever." "One note for you to wealthy immigrants: before you pay, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert joked. He explained that the scheme is also designed to "squeeze cash" from businesses looking to hire foreign workers, involving large costs. "That's a lot of fees, though if you register, you also get a complimentary stay at a property of your choosing – as long as it's the a specific Marriott," he added. "The most thorough vetting the U.S. government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to ensure these people truly meet the standard to be in America." "That is important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "Question one: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?" Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "American Dream Express Card." "It's a card that will allow wealthy international individuals to live here," he said. "For a million bucks, you get official resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one major crime of your choice." "Maybe it's time to revise that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your tired masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he added. Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the form, noting it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak." "That's right, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars." Seth Meyers on Economic Issues Meanwhile, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's slipping approval ratings amid economic worries. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term since they were angry about the economy," he explained. Recently, in a attempt to discuss cost of living, Trump held a briefing in front of a selection of grocery items, where he behaved peculiarly to some cereal. "What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a while." "He is so fucking weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?" Meyers wrapped up by mocking right-leaning media coverage of Trump's financial performance. "Maybe rather than complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to what FIFA did," he remarked.
Late-night's leading comedians spent their airtime criticizing ex-President Donald Trump's just unveiled visa initiative, dubbed the "golden visa," portraying it as a blatant cash-for-residency arrangement for the affluent. The Late Show's Witty Take Starting his broadcast, Stephen Colbert delivered a sardonic Christmas jingle targeting the president. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, and then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he intoned. "The President ... spoils everything he touches." The focus was the new initiative which permits overseas individuals to buy U.S. residence for the price of a million dollars, or "top-tier" option for $5 million. A government portal promises processing "faster than ever." "One note for you to wealthy immigrants: before you pay, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert joked. He explained that the scheme is also designed to "squeeze cash" from businesses looking to hire foreign workers, involving large costs. "That's a lot of fees, though if you register, you also get a complimentary stay at a property of your choosing – as long as it's the a specific Marriott," he added. "The most thorough vetting the U.S. government has ever done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to ensure these people truly meet the standard to be in America." "That is important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "Question one: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?" Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "American Dream Express Card." "It's a card that will allow wealthy international individuals to live here," he said. "For a million bucks, you get official resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one major crime of your choice." "Maybe it's time to revise that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your tired masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he added. Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the form, noting it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak." "That's right, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "It's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars." Seth Meyers on Economic Issues Meanwhile, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's slipping approval ratings amid economic worries. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term since they were angry about the economy," he explained. Recently, in a attempt to discuss cost of living, Trump held a briefing in front of a selection of grocery items, where he behaved peculiarly to some cereal. "What a nice job, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a while." "He is so fucking weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?" Meyers wrapped up by mocking right-leaning media coverage of Trump's financial performance. "Maybe rather than complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to what FIFA did," he remarked.